THIS IS: TAMMY’S STORY
TIB is committed to making the world of beauty a more inclusive, celebrated and empowered one. That's why we launched THIS IS: This is our moment to share real stories by real people to help us shift our perspective on beauty.
It’s within their stories that magic can happen. Maybe their stories resonate with you, maybe they make you feel seen, and heard, or maybe they bring new awareness and thought-provoking notions of what the word beauty even means.
After every story, we ask ‘ What is your perception of beauty? ’ Keep reading to find out their answer...
After years of fighting the inevitable, she finally embraced her curls…
I’d like to think that my moment of realization came somewhere while trekking in the Himalayas. I was surrounded by breathtaking, snow-peaked mountains on an enduring adventure to Annapurna Base Camp at the time. My backpack was agonisingly heavy as step-by-step I edged toward my goal. I was five days into the seven-day ordeal -- and there it happened.
I didn’t have some sort of spiritual awakening before you guess. Although I was completely blown away by the mountains that surrounded me, my realization was a bit more practical.
I opened my backpack and peered down at the hair straighteners that I’d carried thousands of meters up a mountain range. What the fu** was I doing? Not only were they completely useless up here, but every last pound of weight in my backpack felt like a brick due to the high altitude. And there, I ditched my GHDs once and for all and was forced to reckon with the thing I’d been fighting for years.
Mother Nature made me a curly girl. At that moment in Nepal I finally decided to embrace it. However, that marked the start of a long journey of coming to terms with my hair. What I’ve realized since then is that the relationship I have with my curls is one of constant learning. For me, self-love isn’t a destination, but something that will continue to evolve as many times as I can search for CG (curly girl) approved products.
Tammy back in the 2000’s.
What growing up in the 2000s did to my hair confidence
I feel like everyone fu**s with their hair at some point. For me (like most others) this happened when I was a teenager. I don’t remember ever being bullied for my curls, but something compelled me to want to fit in. I’m certain that had something to do with my peers and the glossy magazines that we were all reading at the time.
Growing up in Manchester, the trend was poker straight locks and luscious extensions and I wanted IN. Wearing your hair naturally didn’t really feel like an option at that point. A couple of boxed bleach jobs should have taught me a lesson, but then I continued to relentlessly iron out my curls every day to fit in. Because, fitting in at the time, meant bleach-blonde hair and green dip-dye ends (go figure).
After years of bleaching, brushing and straightening, my curl pattern was non-existent. In fact, I didn’t even know I had a 3A-3B curl pattern until years later. However, any rain also reminded me that I also didn’t have straight hair either.
So, when we cut to the mountain range where I ditched my hair straighteners, I was left with a big problem. As well as learning to love my natural hair, it would take many years to actually revive my curls. This post-straightening limbo is one that many people get stuck in. Honestly, I wish I could have told my younger self to never start straightening my curls -- but I also know that the younger me wouldn’t have listened anyway.
From curly acceptance to curly empowerment: The transition is real
There were many transitional stages that followed the moment I decided to embrace my curls. Most of the time, my hair was tied up as I secretly longed for Shakira-like locks. This was also the period where I decided to get empowered. I believe this makes all the difference to a curly hair journey.
A curly girl's journey is one of trial and error -- and something that only you can learn for yourself. In fact, I had to un-learn everything I knew about managing hair and educate myself about what really worked for my curls. While the internet was helpful for curly tips, many things I read simply didn’t have the desired effect. I even loosely learned about the Curly Girl Method (and I’m sure it’s great) but stopped short of committing to specific products because I didn’t have time to read the labels.
What I did do to achieve results took patience. I stopped brushing my hair altogether and learned to form my locks in the shower by running my fingers from root to tip. As it turns out, there’s also a wealth of products out there that are specifically designed for curls. As well as learning the power of a co-wash, I threw out my hair dryer and stocked up on leave-in treatments that helped to lock moisture into my curls.
Knowledge was always key -- learning the why behind what treatments worked helped me make better decisions that ultimately benefited my hair.
On a side note, I also learned that many hair stylists still don’t really know what they’re doing with curly hair. However, I vowed to face my fears and attend more regular haircuts while also doing my due diligence and making sure my stylist really, REALLY KNEW the quirks of cutting curls.
A word of CG advice
Seven years after I ditched my hair straighteners on a remote mountain in Nepal, I’ll be honest I’m still working on it. A million people have told me that they love my hair and that it’s what defines me, but the journey we have with our hair is deeply personal.
On some days I love my curls, and on others, they just don’t look the way I want them to. And that’s okay. What’s important is that I’ve gone from hating my wild, frizzy locks to owning the fact that curly hair is part of my identity. Even if my curls sometimes don’t dry the way I’d hoped, I’ll just tie my hair up that day and try again another time.
I don’t know where you are in your curly girl progress. Perhaps you’re still straightening your locks. You might be ‘mountain me’ and horrified to find yourself in curly girl limbo. You might even be well ahead and loving every minute of curly life (tell me your secrets!)
My biggest piece of advice is that this curly girl journey takes patience. Patience to finally accept your curls, patience when revving frazzled curls, and certainly, a lot of patience if you ever want to grow your hair past your shoulders. However, one day you’ll spot the perfect curl and know that the patience has paid off.
Just remember that self-love and hair confidence is a journey that we’re all on. You’ve got this, curly girls.
Tam x
SO, TAMMY, WHAT IS YOUR PERCEPTION OF BEAUTY?
Beauty is embracing the fact you stand out from the crowd instead of trying to blend in. Be weird, be wild, dare to be different and own everything that you were meant to be. And own it with pride.'
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